More Than Misery
by JenniferJF
Summary: He was exhausted and had had about as much as he could take. And this celebration the Jaffa were throwing supposedly in SG1’s honor was doing nothing to improve his mood... SJ
1. Holding

It had been a long day. Sure, the rebel Jaffa his team had been meeting with were technically friendly, but that didn't mean their talks had been trouble-free. In fact, if there were one aspect of his job as SG-1 leader Jack O'Neill truly despised it was these types of negotiations. Besides, given the recent problems between the Jaffa and the Tok'ra at the Alpha site – not to mention to occasional Goa'uld assassin – he could hardly blame these guys for wanting to remain relatively independent.

Still, he was exhausted and had had about as much as he could take. And this celebration the Jaffa were throwing supposedly in SG-1's honor was doing nothing to improve his mood. Loud and discordant drum beats weren't really his idea of dance music, though it was clearly a cultural thing, since the Jaffa dancing in the space before the fire seemed to be having no such problem. In fact, a growing number of couples seemed to be having quite a good time.

Jack couldn't resist glancing over to where Carter was sitting on a nearby log next to Jonas. From the animated conversation between the two of them, she clearly had plenty of energy left despite the long day behind them….

As if sensing his gaze, she looked towards him suddenly, her smile growing momentarily brighter as their eyes met. An answering smile tugged up the corner of his own mouth. Sam looked away almost immediately, glancing towards the fire and the dancers while continuing to speak with Jonas. Jack's eyes followed the direction of her glance, out towards the dancers. Bad idea. The music had slowed, and the dancing couples were now locked tightly in each others arms, swaying to the music. Jack found himself imagining what it would be like to hold her in his arms, pull her against his chest, feel her relax into him…

He looked quickly away, and out of the corner of his eye saw that she had done the same. Even in the firelight he could see the slow flush which spread across her features as she turned her attention back to Jonas.

Crap. He wasn't supposed to look at her like that. To have those kinds of thoughts. To give _her _those kinds of thoughts. It wasn't fair to her. More importantly, it wasn't _safe_ for her. Things were just so… difficult. Groaning to himself, he shut his eyes to free himself of the sight of her. He forced another image to replace that of her sitting before him, lit by the fire, eyes bright as she looked across at him --

Another place and another time, but those same eyes. Her eyes -- only not her. Her body -- only not hers. His two shots left it an empty shell, hooked up to everything and the kitchen sink, kept going by technology alone…

Resolve hardened, he opened his eyes. This time when she looked at him and smiled, he managed to keep from smiling -- managed to nod curtly, the perfect CO. Her smile died almost as quickly as it had formed, but the hurt left behind was nothing compared to the pain he knew he could cause her. This pain he could live with. And she sure as hell could.

But he'd be damned before he'd spend the night in that tent the Jaffa had prepared for his team. Lying right next to her, too impossibly close to be so impossibly far away. He'd been there before, staring up into the dark, hearing each breath and each rustle of her bedroll in the night, knowing she was less than an arm's reach away. Imagining how it would feel to pull her towards him, her blonde head beneath his chin, her back warm against his chest, his arm draped across her shoulder, holding her as they both slept….

He stood up suddenly, having made his decision. He crossed to Carter and Jonas. "Guys, I'm gonna go see what Teal'c's up to." When Carter moved as if to join him, he waved her back down. "No, stay here. You kids have fun." And, with a final wave over his shoulder, he headed in the direction his Jaffa friend had taken a few minutes earlier.

Jack had trouble finding Teal'c in the maze of the Jaffa encampment. However, others didn't seem to have his problem.

"Oh, Colonel O'Neill," a feminine voice called from behind him.

Oh, crap. He knew that voice. Turning towards its owner, he tried to smile. "Hey, My'ra."

"Hello, Colonel O'Neill." The female Jaffa glided towards him, slender hips swaying in an obvious attempt at seduction.

Oh, _crap. _For once, his instincts had served him well, and he hadn't been imagining the looks she had been casting him all day over the negotiating table. Or maybe it was the looks a certain blonde Air Force Major had been shooting her back in return… Either way, she was clearly after him now and the last thing he needed was another complication. She reached towards him, rubbing his arm. He tried to back up, and her arm closed around him.

Oh. Crap.

-o-o-o-

Samantha Carter really did want to pay attention to Jonas as he talked, but out of the corner of her eye she couldn't help but watch Colonel O'Neill leave the campfire and head after Teal'c. Unfortunately, that meant she didn't miss when My'ra, who had set her sights on the Colonel much earlier that day, followed after him.

Damn. Not that she cared. It wasn't really her business. He'd made that abundantly clear more often than she cared to remember. And as recently as a few moments earlier. But still. Damn.

She tried to turn her attention back to Jonas, who was discussing… what? Was Jack talking to that woman? She could barely see them where they stood together across the campfire through the narrow opening in the tents.

"Sam?" Jonas asked, catching her attention again. "What do you think?"

"What?" He glanced in the direction she'd been looking, to where the Colonel and My'ra were still talking. His smile was too gentle when he looked back at her. "Look, Sam…"

She smiled at him, giving him her full attention. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea. "It's okay, Jonas. I just wanted to make sure the Colonel didn't need our help."

Jonas's expression made it clear he did _not _believe her. "Uh-huh."

"Really. You were saying…" What was it? Oh, that nurse… "You weren't sure about whether you should ask her out. Right?" He nodded, and she continued, "We have an old Earth saying, Jonas. 'Nothing ventured, nothing gained.'"

"Yes… but… Do you think—"

Despite herself, she couldn't help chuckling at his hopeful expression. "I think, Jonas, if you don't _ask_, you'll never _know_."

Her companion looked thoughtful for a moment before his face broke into a smile. "Thanks, Sam. When we get back – as soon as I get a chance – I'll ask her."

She couldn't help smiling at his enthusiasm, even though she'd heard him make the exact same declaration half-a-dozen times in the past. "Great, Jonas. You'll let me know—" Her attention was suddenly diverted by movement in the direction the Colonel had last been headed. Sam instinctively looked towards it, but it wasn't Jack. Instead, it was several Jaffa she didn't recognize coming to join the celebration. The space between the tents was now empty. There was no sign of either the Colonel of that Jaffa woman who had been stalking him all day.

Which could just mean he had managed to escape and was on his way to find Teal'c. Or it could mean…

"Sam?" Jonas asked softly. That concerned look was back on his face.

"I'm okay, really." Really. _Really._ "I'm just a bit tired. It's been a long day." He continued to stare at her, his concern evident. She couldn't handle it anymore. "Look, Jonas. You stay here, have fun. The Colonel said something about cake… I think I'm going to turn in early."

"You sure?"

She nodded, attempting a smile. "Sure. I'll be fine."

"Okay…" he still sounded doubtful, but at least he was no longer arguing. "Have a good sleep, Sam."

This time, touched by his concern, her smile was genuine, "Thanks, Jonas. See you later." And, standing up, she headed away from the celebration and towards SG-1's temporary tent quarters.

She didn't fall asleep right away, of course, but lay in the dark listening to the noises of the party around her, refusing to imagine what else might be going on out there in the dark. Just because she had been unable to move on, to successfully keep her feelings 'in the room' and in the past where they belonged didn't mean she was deluded enough to believe a man like the Colonel didn't -- But that was _really_ none of her business.

Sam was still awake, though she pretended to sleep, when Jonas stumbled in many hours later and, still later, when Teal'c came in, lighting his candles to Kel'no'rim in the company of his sleeping friends. When, later yet, exhausted, she finally managed sleep, Jack's bedroll still lay empty next to her. And she refused to care.


	2. Touching

Sam woke up shivering. She had thrown her bed roll off sometime in her sleep, and the early morning chill had woken her. Not that the little sleep she'd managed to get had been particularly restful. She never remembered her dreams, fortunately, typically waking with just an impression of what they had contained. Yet last night's had left her with a vague sense of dread. Because she had been missing something. Or some_one_. Someone important.

And that's when she remembered. She glanced across to where the Colonel had dropped his gear the day before. She could just make out his still empty bed roll in the early morning light which filtered in through the gaps in the tent. She decided she'd had more than enough sleep. She sat up carefully and slipped out of the tangle of her blankets. Grabbing her gear, she quietly left the tent.

Sam usually loved this time of day, when the camp or village they were staying in came slowly to life around her. The smell from the cooking fires wafted invitingly towards her, and her stomach growled in acknowledgement. But there was no way in hell she was going over that way – no way she'd risk running into the Colonel and —

She headed towards the outskirts of the camp, away from the welcoming smells of food, towards where the first rays of the sun were even now streaking the sky pink. She just needed some time along to pull herself together before facing the day. A day destined to be spent sitting next to the Colonel and across from –

But she wouldn't think about that. Settling down in the grass at the camp's edge, the cold dampness of the ground seemed to match her mood perfectly. She was determined to enjoy the sunrise. Nobody had made any rules against that. Not yet.

-o-o-o-

He had been standing chatting by the cooking fires when he'd seen her passing between two nearby rows of tents. Instead of heading over for breakfast, however, she'd taken off in the opposite direction. He didn't even give himself time to think. Grabbing his recently filled thermos and a plate of food, he quickly followed after her.

-o-o-o-

She smelled the food he carried before she heard his approach. Looking up over her shoulder, she confirmed what she already knew.

"Sir…" she started to shift to her feet.

"No, Carter. Stay there. I just saw you headed this way and figured I'd join you…" Their eyes met, and she could tell he'd realized the potential awkwardness of the situation at the same moment she had. He finished sitting down next to her and held the plate he carried towards her. "You should eat," he explained a bit lamely.

She began to protest, "No, sir, I'm not…" but a noise from the direction of her abdomen gave lie to her words. And broke the mood. Sam chuckled despite herself. "Yes, sir," she concluded instead.

"Thought so," he declared, smiling in satisfaction as she took the offered plate.

Damn the man. Despite everything, she was finding it impossible to stay mad at him. After all, she had no claim on him besides friendship, anyway. Whatever he may or may not have done the night before, the bottom line was, you couldn't betray something which didn't really exist. Shaking her head in defeat at the maddening man sitting next to her, she dug into the food.

The Colonel reached behind himself, grabbing the portable thermos he'd slung over his shoulder. Her anger dissolved completely when he held it up, offering, "Coffee?"

She couldn't help laughing as she grabbed the canteen cup off her web gear. She held it up for him to fill. "You need to ask?"

He chuckled in response, "Not really. No." The Colonel poured himself some coffee before setting the thermos down on the ground.

Leaning back on one arm, he gestured towards the sky in front of them. "Beautiful sunrise, huh, Carter?"

She looked up at him, to find him looking back at her. Even though she wasn't quite sure if he'd meant to give his words a double meaning, she knew she was grinning like an idiot anyway. She quickly turned away, taking a quick sip of coffee to hide her smile. After a few more sips, having regained control of her expression once more, she looked back out at the sunset. "Yes, sir."

They sat together for several long moments, and suddenly, to her surprise, Sam realized that – at that specific place and at that specific moment -- she was happier than she could ever remember being. Watching an alien sun rise over an alien landscape while sipping coffee with Jack O'Neill.

He was the first to break the silence, saying softly, "Carter?"

"Yes, sir."

"We're done here, ya know."

She looked over at him in surprise. "Sir?"

He smiled back at her. Too knowingly. "I spent the night hanging out with Pra'nac's night watch. And in the morning, they helped me convince him that they could use some of their own 'Tau'ri Weapons'. So, it looks like this mission won't be a complete failure after all…"

She stared at him in surprise for a few moments, mouth open and mind racing. Jack had known. Known why she had woken up so early, and why she had avoided the cooking fires with their promise of breakfast and coffee to seek solitude at the edge of camp… But the only words she could eventually come up with were a simple: "Good job, sir."

And -- god help her -- the blasted man winked.


End file.
